It’s Not You, It’s Me.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend that brought this phrase to mind. We were talking about friendships and how they evolve (and sometimes ultimately dissipate) over time, especially as you get older and your priorities shift. This conversation seemed to tee right up with a post I shared on Instagram re-evaluating some of my personal goals for 2020, one of which is to ‘hit unfriend/unfollow more often’. I knew at the beginning of the year that I truly only wanted my social media feeds to be filled with content that brings me joy, inspiration, confidence, and empowerment. I don’t have the space in my life for anything less than that anymore. But as I had this conversation and re-evaluated my goals, I realized that it goes beyond the social media feeds. It extends right into real life. And then, as if it were summoned from the depths of social media history, a post popped up in my Facebook memories:

If I were a different person, I would’ve thought that it was such a funny coincidence that these things were all happening at once. But there are no coincidences or accidents. Life isn’t happening to you, it’s happening for you. It was all a reminder that I want to be purposeful about the people and content that get my time and attention. So off I went, detoxing my online space of any negative, vacuous, or mediocre presence.      

I definitely unfriended/unfollowed people I used to have meaningful relationships with. I know it may sound harsh, but I want to be intentional in every facet of my life. Does it mean I don’t wish them well in their own lives? Absolutely not. I hope they are finding their own happiness, success and fulfillment in whatever they do. Just as I hope they’d wish me the same. What it all boils down to, funnily enough, is the old “it’s not you, it’s me.” Nobody has done anything wrong or malicious to warrant my behaviour. Simply put, I’m on the pursuit of a life lived to the fullest, and as I go through (or grow through) this journey I’m going to take the necessary steps to achieve it. Author Neil Pasricha says, “The average Canadian lifespan in 1000 months long.” If that’s the case, I’m a little over a third of the way through, and I plan on making the absolute best of the last two-thirds.